i feel so inadequate

CNN reports that a four-story public toilet with a thousand stalls has opened in China.

"We are spreading toilet culture. People can listen to gentle music and watch TV," said Lu Xiaoqing, an official with the Yangrenjie, or "Foreigners Street," tourist area where the bathroom is. "After they use the bathroom they will be very, very happy."

The entrance to the toilet has an Egyptian facade and open-air stalls that overlook the busy streets of Chongqing. Some urinals are shaped like a bust of the Virgin Mary and some washbasins are in the shape of a woman bending over. I wish there were a TV show called "Pimp My Toilet", I'd love to have a washbasin like that!

the kinds of asses i see

I've been wondering what kind of people have been using me lately, so I started conducting informal interviews as people have exited me. Please keep in mind, this was not scientific, I just asked a few simple questions in exchange for an extra flush. So who's been using this downtown toilet?

65 percent male and 35 percent female
35 percent of respondents were ages 18-24
44 percent were ages 25 to 34
14 percent were ages 35 to 44
7 percent were 45 and older

The education breakdown was:

12 percent with high school or less
26 percent with some college
47 percent college graduates
12 percent with graduate degrees
3 percent with postgraduate work

Activities in the past 30 days broke down to:

Accessed the internet at home or work, at 67 percent
Went to a movie theatre, at 66 percent
Bought a music CD or tape, at 41 percent
Went to a health club, at 45 percent
Attended a concert or show, at 35 percent
Made a purchase over the internet, at 31 percent
Also 26 percent of the asses I see also visit a bar or nightclub twice a week, 24 percent once a week, 20 percent three times a week, and 13 percent four times a week. Daily visits were reported by 10 percent, but that's downtown for you.

I've been thinking about expanding this and maybe asking different questions. So please don't freak out if, when you're next using me, you hear a nice, well-modulated voice speaking in non-regional mainstream English. That's just me, the downtown toilet, with a few quick questions. And you get an extra clean bowl.