just one square

I've mentioned before how much it bothers me when people clog up my pipes with a huge wad of toilet paper. One of my favorite musicians, Sheryl Crow, suggested "I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting." Now she says she was just kidding, that it was just a joke proferred to raise awareness about global warming. But you know, it's not such a ridiculous idea.

You're probably thinking, "But Downtown Toilet, you should see the mess I make back there. And I'm too old to be walking around with skidmarks on my chones, even if it is to save the environment."

Here's how. Just watch this video, which shows you how to wipe your ass using just one square of two-ply toilet paper:



And if that doesn't get it all, then by all means, wrap your fist in toilet paper and have at it. But at least try this. Just remember to wash your hands afterwards!